Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Romance with the Fat and Ugly

It was literally forced upon me.

I bought Saving Grace in high school. As I walked the aisles of the trashy romance section, I got all these evil looks from fat, ugly chicks. Doesn't mean I'm a skinny model but christ! nothing that bad. Plus I was about 20 years younger. The fattest and ugliest of them all came up to me: "Have you read any Woodiwiss?". "Are you kidding me! What havent I read by her? She is like..." Suddenly, (my loud voice has a habit of carrying easily) there was a crowd! The very hens that hated my guts for being a illegal alien were clucking like mama hens. They almost fainted when they found out I never read Garwood (I know the shame and horror!).

I am forever greatful.

Da Biz: It's 1206, Evil King John is forcing Lady Johanna to marry again even though her last husband not only beat the shit out of her but would fuck so many other women... lets just say she had just cause for it. Her bro, who is super hot!!, butts in and marries her to this giant beef guy. Jo agrees when she finds out the warriors name is Gabriel like the angel. After lots of blood, violence, sex, and rescue misions they both live (kinda) happily ever after.

Best Part: no joke, like I laugh the entire way through. Here's an exerpt: End of Chap6: 'Lord, Jo was happyy. Aye, she'd done the right thing. She'd married a good-hearted man.' First Line of Chap7: ''Twas the truth she was married to a gargoyle.' + saving the wolfhound and performing surgery, inventing the game of golf, Jo telling Gab that he should seek out other women, the entire wedding ceremony! (hahaha it is SO funny guys),... it goes on for a while.

Worst Part: she was not as accurate with her Scots accent in this one though overall Garwood is known for that. & the love scenes are all bunched together BORING. Its better when theres one. Trashy Romance Golden Rule ~ love scene every 123 pages (Duh!)

User Friendly to: mama hens as mentioned above, anyone who want sto laugh till they cry, going on a trip and want something light to read. WAY better then Shopaholic (and I love Kinsella!) Garwoods Scotland books are WAY better than her British story lines. If your looking to read more, stick with that vein gals. (ex: The Wedding, The Secret)

Warning: I read this book about twice a year and I cant go to sleep or do anything else once I pick it up.

Cool Fact: Unlike other Romance Writers Garwood isnt scary looking and she has as much of a public presence as Nora Roberts does (and thats a lot) you can always catch her online updating her website. Click the link to send her some juice

Thanks to me again! http://brainwashcafe.blogspot.com/2006/06/romance-with-fat-ugly.html